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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26480356">Gravity</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/irishinferno/pseuds/irishinferno'>irishinferno</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV), The Umbrella Academy (TV) RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comfort, F/M, Five is aged up, Five is really trying to find himself, Fluff, It does go into season two but I probably won't include everything because I forget things, Mostly Five's POV, Pseudo-Incest, Romance, Sexual Tension, later chapter will have sexual content</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:15:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,436</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26480356</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/irishinferno/pseuds/irishinferno</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>They saved the world twice, but going back to normal is only easy for some of them. For Five? It’s a true adjustment. He has been gone for ten years after all. Vanya invites him to be a temporary roommate while she helps him sort through all that happened, but feelings linger between them. Now that the world is at peace, Five has time to live a normal life and come to terms with his desires.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Number Five | The Boy &amp; Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>123</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Canon-divergent. Five is gone for only ten years in the apocalypse and returns in his appropriate, adult body at the age of 23. I'm not sure how many chapters this will have but it will have several. A later chapter will have explicit sexual content, hence the rating. This first chapter switches a bit between Vanya's and Five's POV. I hope you enjoy it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>They had done it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The world, so far as they knew, was safe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It amazed Five that the Hargreeves children managed to come together and prevent the world from imploding, but with a little bit of effort--and a few long-winded, unnecessary arguments--they salvaged the nightmare he had witnessed in the future. The rubble, ash, and charred bodies became nothing but a nightmare he would only have to fight behind closed eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As they sat around in the large, grand living room of the old mansion, their expressions reflected mixtures of exhaustion and relief. Klaus was sprawled out on the love seat with his bare feet dangling carefree over the armrest. Diego, seemingly unable to relax, leaned against a pillar. Five and Vanya sat on the opposite couch with Vanya’s chin resting comfortably in her palm. Luther and Allison found themselves at the bar. There was a small bout of silence before one of them cleared their throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, what do we do now?” Diego asked the impending question with a long breath, shifting his gaze from face to face. They exchanged looks, shrugged shoulders, and seemed entirely uncertain as to what lay before them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five, who spent his time buried away in the future for the past ten years, had not even thought of what would come after they accomplished their mission. He looked pensive, more so than the others, and Vanya noticed it the moment she stole a glance in his direction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s an excellent question,” sang Klaus, whose eyes were closed and a smile pressed upon his lips as though he were experiencing a pleasant dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s weird,” Luther started, sounding bewildered, “I wasn’t sure if there would be an </span>
  <em>
    <span>after</span>
  </em>
  <span> so now…” His jaw locked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s hard to put our minds elsewhere?” Allison finished. Luther nodded, and there was a faint murmur of agreement going around the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five still had yet to say a word. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanya let out a small sigh, attracting their attention. “I guess we just...try our best to live our lives? Go back to normal?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The suggestion sounded ridiculous at first, as though she spoke nonsense; the others pinched their brows together in confusion or frowned, but after a few quiet moments there was a weight in the room that was slowly being lifted as they began to ponder her idea. It was a simple solution, logical, but two apocalyptic battles left their mental states in upheaval and the idea of a normal life almost sounded incomprehensible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allison gave a small nod as she crossed her arms. “I should go and—and work things out to be close to Claire.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I could go with you,” Luther quickly offered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gave him a soft smile. “I’d like that.” Relief graced his features as he took her hand in his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Klaus, heaving loudly as he sat up from his cat-like position on the couch, straightened his posture and pushed the curls from his face before lazily throwing his hands in the air. “I’m going to party it up! The world isn’t going to end and </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> deserves a celebration.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’d party even if the world was falling apart,” Diego pointed out with a dramatic roll of his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Klaus clicked his tongue and pointed at his brother with a half-cocked smile. “You know you wanna join me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not? You need to loosen up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll let you borrow Allison’s skirt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What—no, Jesus, Klaus. I need to find Lila.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, right, right, your </span>
  <em>
    <span>true</span>
  </em>
  <span> love…” Klaus was practically swaying, flustering his brother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While the boys went back and forth, Allison flapped her hand at them in dismissal before looking to her sister with a curious stare. “What are you gonna do, Vanya?” The question took Vanya off guard. She had been observing Five and hardly acknowledged the last twenty seconds of conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She blinked. “What?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allison sighed, hardly looking agitated. “What’s your plans?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanya, for all she had been through, had not even thought about it despite her previous suggestion. She mulled it over quietly, then said, “I’m not sure, but I’ll figure it out. Probably continue violin? Do my lessons. Probably avoid going back to the orchestra though.” She and Allison let out a little laugh. Unlike the others, she had lived a relatively normal life long before Five came home, though it had not felt the same without him. She looked over at him again; she was clearly worried about his silence, but no one else seemed to notice as they discussed their plans.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, in a swirl and crackle of blue, Five was gone from the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That caught their attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luther looked around like he was completely surprised by Five’s ability to jump. “Wh--where did he go?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Typical Five,” Diego muttered. “Says nothing and then disappears.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not like you were helping any. You didn’t say anything to him either.” Luther gave his brother a stern look of reprimand. Diego huffed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well at least we can argue more freely knowing our last words to one another won’t be ‘drop dead’,” Klaus giggled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He probably went to his room,” Vanya said casually. She stood from the couch and ignored the brotherly banter. “I’m going to go check.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She made her way into the foyer and up the grand staircase in search of Five, leaving the sounds of her siblings behind. She knew how difficult this whole ordeal must have been for him; he was trapped in the apocalypse for ten years and, by the time he managed to get back, there was little time to convince his family of the approaching doom and subsequently save the world in the short days that followed. Twice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d spent a larger portion of his life with the knowledge that everything was going to end, and when that no longer loomed on the horizon, it must have felt...disorienting. Vanya could not even begin to imagine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Five?” She called out as she reached the top of the steps. Their old bedrooms lined each side, doors open wide to reveal empty beds and untouched decor, and the light from the windows spilled out into the hallway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All but one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seeing that his door was shut, Vanya walked up and rapped lightly on the old wood. “Five? You in there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come in.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cautiously she opened the door to find a tall, fully-grown Five squashed into his computer chair. His size dwarfed his once comfortable sitting place, making it look like it was designed for a dollhouse. His fingers were pushed into the dark locks of his hair as his head draped into his hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanya frowned. “Five? You okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five, now fully acknowledging that Vanya was in the room, slowly sat upright and dragged his eyes up to meet hers. They looked weary. “Of course I’m not,” he quipped, throwing his hand out to the side and letting it fall limp on the armrest. “I have no idea what’s next.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t under--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed and looked to the window. “Of course you don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She drew her head back, nose wrinkling. “It would help if you’d cut the attitude.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have an attitude.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you don’t?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t, and if I </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> it would be due to certain people asking me ridiculous questions.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanya, having gained more of a spine over the past weeks, walked up to the chair and stood in front of him with defiance in her frown. It was the only time she ever stood taller than him. “You disappear from the room without so much as a word? Pretty sure my question isn’t the least bit ridiculous. I’m allowed to check on you. Get over yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five took notice of her closer proximity and tilted his chin to look at her. His eyes reflected all that she had felt after he disappeared all those years ago: confusion, uncertainty, unguided. She sighed and took a seat on the foot of the bed. Their knees were touching but he did not flinch away. The physical contact, while minimal, was soothing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can talk to me, you know,” Vanya said it in a hushed tone as though they were exchanging secrets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” His demeanor softened significantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So talk to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her voice, pure and gentle, was almost as strong as Allison’s power of compulsion. She always had a hold on him, even when they were kids, and it was hard to deny Vanya in any capacity. No one else received his tenderness the way she did. Did she even know that? Was she even aware?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patiently she waited. His eyes moved from her face to the floor, then back again, moving about her features as though seeking out ill-intent. Of course, he would find none; Vanya, despite her incredible power, did not have one terrible bone in her body. She truly was the only one he could trust with anything, but even so, the words he wanted to say could not work their way to the surface.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A brief stint of silence took over the room before Vanya said, “Come stay with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The demand still sounded like a suggestion on her lips, but it drew him from his inner battle. His brows furrowed. “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked sheepish then. “I said, come stay with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She rolled her eyes. “Because it’s better than staying here? You can’t possibly like the idea of being in this house when you have options.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll manage,” Five retorted simply, shrugging a shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stubborn, as always. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can, but you don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But what if I </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re full of shit, Five, you know that?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It amused him when she cursed. He grinned at her before it faded into a faint smirk. “I aim to annoy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She snorted. “You’re doing a bang-up job.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mission accomplished then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanya’s stare was full of reprimand, but there was a soft purse to her lips and no crease in her brow, as though she wanted to laugh and be frustrated at the same time. Five mimicked her expression. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the moment passed, she sighed and reached out to touch his knee. “Five, seriously,” she said softly, pleading, “You really should think about it.” He could only stare at her hand on his leg. She stood up from the bed and reluctantly moved from him. “You don’t have to be alone anymore. You’ve been alone long enough.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those words sparked something in him, a warmth he had not felt in years. It caused his chest to tighten even as he expelled a slow, steady breath. He could not begin to manage the words to express how he felt. Even if he tried, it would come out as rambled nonsense and Five was not the sort to fumble around incoherently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanya, suddenly seeming shy by his silence, took a step back. “Just come over later, okay? I’ll be disappointed if you don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that, she left Five to rummage through his thoughts, feelings, and the events that transpired in recent weeks. It was a lot to absorb. He spent so many years navigating a wasteland, only to be pulled in by the Commission and then fought to get back to his family. Back to Vanya. Even when he attained that goal, the world still had to be rescued from obliteration and he was constantly on the move. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jump. Jump. Jump. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now that things were at a realistic pause, he felt lost. What was he to do now? So accustomed to having a series of goals to meet, there was a strange emptiness that came with meeting all of them and being left with a potentially normal life from that moment forward. He had the others, at least, but soon they would drift into their own grooves and go about life as they once had. His life ended at thirteen and restarted at twenty-three. He aged physically as he should but he missed out on the in-between. He missed out on being there for Vanya. It was hard to imagine what she suffered in his absence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guilt began to steep in his stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After an hour of thoughtful silence, he exhaled and took a lazy look around the room; in the sudden quiet of the house he realized that Vanya was right: the solitude did not suit him. Not any more. He pushed his way out of the small chair and walked into the hallway, only to vanish into thin air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In a nanosecond, he was standing at Vanya’s apartment door. Five knocked rather loudly and, uncharacteristically patient, waited for her to answer. As much as he did not want to depend on people he could not stay away. Too much time had already evaporated between them and he was loath to try and gain some of it back. He did not know what to do with a normal life, but he was damn sure he wanted her in it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A minute or so passed. He knocked again. He looked down at his watch before sighing and throwing his head back in defeat. Patience, even with Vanya, was not his strong suit. In a flash, he was inside of her apartment. Through the open door of her bedroom, he could hear the water running and realized she was in the shower.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh well, he would just wait.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walked around the apartment while taking in her belongings with a studious gaze; the last time he was there they were dealing with the end of the world. She patched him up. He confided in her before anyone else. He remembered being angry that she could not seem to understand what he was telling her, but later he realized that at least she was </span>
  <em>
    <span>trying</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It was a lot to absorb. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He remembered her begging him to stay. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t want to lose you again.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Although he left her apartment to attend to apocalyptic matters, he had no intention of her losing him ever again. Being away from her for ten years was painful enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bookshelf nearby caught his attention and he walked towards it so he could explore the titles of books she had collected. One of them, unsurprisingly, was her novel. He could only think about having had it during his time in the apocalypse. It was all he had had of her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as he reached out to touch it, a shriek of surprise caused him to pull back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Five!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked over at Vanya casually, who was standing in her doorway with a towel wrapped around her torso. Her hair, still wet, clung to her shoulders and collarbones. A wave of heat then surged through him and his ears felt like they were being doused with lava. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dammit.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are--why--?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tried to keep his tone level. “You told me I should come over,” he defended lamely as he turned his back out of respect, though he did not want to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well--well yeah, but you couldn’t knock??”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In my defense, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> knock. I stood there for a while so…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five could hear the exasperation in her voice. “Define ‘a while’.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He clicked his tongue. “Maybe a couple of minutes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so impatient.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no arguing that. Instead, he grumbled out some sort of incoherent response before he heard her footsteps retreat into the bedroom. His shoulders, having grown tense from their awkward moment, slowly relaxed. It was only when he heard her return that he swiveled his head around to look at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even in pajamas he could not help but look her over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>God, he had missed her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The irritation went from her face, though tinged a light shade of pink, she gave him a small smile before walking into the kitchen. He took that as a sign of forgiveness and jumped to her side, leaning on the counter with one elbow. He had to let the image of her in a towel pass quickly so he asked, “You have any coffee? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Good</span>
  </em>
  <span> coffee?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think you deserve it after scaring me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked like a scolded puppy. “Well, yeah. It’s not like I scared you on purpose.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s fair.” She laughed. He smiled. “I don’t think my coffee meets your standards though. It comes out of a can.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His nose wrinkled in disgust. “How do you even drink that swill?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because caffeine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Point taken.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite the warning that the coffee may not be up to his standards, he began moving about her kitchen as though he lived there. She didn’t say a word and instead smiled to herself as he made himself at home. He finally found the coffee after a few short directives from Vanya and got a pot going. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Watching the dark liquid drip into the carafe, he felt a faint sense of belonging. It wasn’t his own place but Vanya was only a few feet away and that made all the difference. She made anywhere feel like home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I saw your bookshelf,” he stated, making idle chit chat as they waited for coffee. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s not as big as I want it to be but at least I have some classics.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I saw a few that we’d had as kids. The ones Father made us read.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanya looked perplexed. “You read them too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart sank. He forgot that Reginald spent a lot of time keeping her away from the Umbrella Academy because he claimed she was ‘ordinary’. They had similar studies academically but she remained detached nonetheless. She must have thought them to have different assignments too. It never did settle well with him that she had been detached from the only people she could have had hope to spend time with as a child. Perhaps that was another reason he had ruffled Reginald's feathers often, was to subtly get back at him for his mistreatment of Vanya.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five shrugged. “Yeah. Some were okay I guess. Not as intriguing as scientific theories, physics, and postulations about the universe but they weren’t a terrible choice to represent their genres.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you could choose one to read again, which would it be?” She looked at him, and there was a twinkle of joy in her eyes as they talked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Although he felt a rush of warmth as he looked at her, Five pushed his mouth to the side. “None of them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you said they weren’t bad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said they weren’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>terrible</span>
  </em>
  <span> for their genres. Doesn’t mean I want to be miserable reading them again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She chuckled. There was then a bit of hesitance in her expression as she asked, meekly, “What about my book?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled again, softer and more brief. “I could probably manage it at least one more time.” She beamed at him and his heart skipped a beat; Five opted not to tell her that he’d read it countless times. That it was his slice of sanity in the apocalypse. A prompt to get back to her when he was finally able. He still had it in his belongings and never intended to be rid of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanya brushed past him to check on the coffee. He made no effort to move. “Done yet?” He queried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Almost. This coffee maker is old as dirt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well? Get a new one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She glanced at him and huffed a laugh. His practicality was refreshing. “Now that the world isn’t ending, I will.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They chatted for a while longer about small things as they watched the pot. Soon, the entire apartment smelled like an early morning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanya poured them both a cup once it was done and handed it to him. Gratefully he took it. His palms firmly held its base to absorb the warmth before he walked into the living room. She quietly followed and sat down next to him on the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a cautious sip and instantly made a face. “Swill.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She laughed into her cup. “Caffeine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going to allow this tomorrow morning. I hope you know that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...so you’re staying?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hope in her voice was energizing, contagious. He felt himself relax into the couch as he looked at her, those wide brown eyes staring at him expectantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So long as I get to keep better coffee around.” He would have stayed without it and she knew it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Done deal.” She looked delighted. Panting a little from relief, she set her coffee aside and leaned in to give him a hug. His stomach flipped. Her face was pressed into his chest, her small frame fitting perfectly against him. He hesitantly put his free arm around her and gave a small squeeze. His eyes slipped shut; it felt good to be close to her again. When was the last time he had an opportunity to relish in the touch of another human being? Especially Vanya?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She then parted from him with flushed cheeks and patted the couch. “The couch is pretty comfortable. I have extra pillows and blankets…” she worried at her lip. “I would say we could share my bed but—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It would be too small for the both of us I’m sure,” he finished, his neck feeling flushed at the thought of sharing a bed with Vanya. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe we can take turns. Switch off taking the bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s your bed, Vanya, I’m not—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She held up a finger. “Nope.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not.” He lifted a brow in challenge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You will. I said so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And they say </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m</span>
  </em>
  <span> bossy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smirked. “I learned from the best.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tilted his head up and sighed wistfully. “I’m a damn good teacher.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was amusement in her breathy, slightly irritated laugh. She sipped at her coffee, watching him over the brim of her cup as he drank his own with half-lidded eyes. His lashes, long and dark, sunk behind the edge of the white ceramic before coming back up again to make eye contact with her. Now that the threat of apocalypse was over, it sunk in how surreal this was. Gone for years and now they were both tangible to one another once again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They made small talk for a while, mostly about books, libraries, and free college courses that Five could get into while they tried to settle into a normal routine. While Vanya had a life she could get back to, he didn’t. He had to start from the beginning. It was a bit overwhelming for someone who spent ten years in a decimated world littered with rubble and ruin, but he was going to acclimate. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cups empty, the conversation dwindled into silence. The TV behind them was at an almost mutable level but Vanya briefly turned her attention to it all the same. She couldn’t help but think about the conversations back at the mansion. How lost Five had looked. Even then, as he finished off his swill coffee, she could see him struggling internally with </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She had a feeling it had to do with adjusting to a regular life but she wanted to know exactly what was on his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So do you want to talk about it?” She asked finally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five felt the fingers holding the cup grow tense. He knew all that he wanted to say, all that he was feeling, but it was difficult to sort it out coherently. The silence drew out for a little while longer, but there sat Vanya in all her patient glory with nothing but time to give. When he looked at her there was only a sweet smile tugging at her lips. Her eyes searched his face to try and find the answers so he wouldn’t have to speak. Hesitantly, she reached out and put her free hand on his own. He could feel her fingers put pressure on his skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was a goddamn angel and at that moment he realized how little he deserved her. Her kindness. Her touch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, Five slid his hand from beneath hers and gave it a pat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should get some sleep first,” he suggested. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” she agreed. He could see that she wanted to push, but she didn’t. Instead, she reached to her left and took the thick blanket off the back of the couch and settled it between them before standing up. She smiled softly. “Goodnight, Five.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A faint smile appeared on his lips. “Goodnight, Vanya.”</span>
</p><p>He watched contentedly as she walked into her room, their eyes meeting briefly before she closed the door.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you to those who gave kudos and left comments on the first chapter! I hope this next installment is equally enjoyable. The next few chapters will be shorter than the first so it'll be a lighter read. Happy reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He woke with a start. His chest was heaving like he’d run a marathon, and it was practically painful to take in a large breath. The pulse in his neck was throbbing into his ears. By the time his eyes were forced open he was greeted with a dark living room, untouched by catastrophic chaos. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was still in Vanya’s apartment. A slow, shaky breath slipped past his lips. Safe. He was safe. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She</span>
  </em>
  <span> was safe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fires. The rubble. The ash. The graying faces of his deceased siblings. They were replaying themselves again, haunting him, making it feel like he was back in the future where he was the last living being on Earth. He remembered calling out for Vanya, and as he awoke from his nightmare he felt himself saying her name again.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Vanya</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He achingly pushed the blanket off his legs and swung them over to rest his feet on the chilly floor. The apartment was still standing yet ash lingered on his tongue. Weak fingers raked through his thick hair as he tried to settle his nerves. Death, decay, and loss had surrounded him for so long it still felt like a dream to be in the present. As he filtered through the images that still swirled in his head, he frequently remembered that he never found Vanya’s body. He searched, he truly did and wandered for days in hopes that she was alive. Throughout those ten years, he had never truly stopped searching. Never stopped hoping.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her book spoke of him being her confidant, the one she trusted most in their small, lonely world, and he abandoned her so he could stroke his ego and prove their Father wrong. She had even silently pleaded for him not to do anything reckless. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Between nightmares of the apocalypse and the guilt of deserting Vanya, he slept little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The past two weeks he tried to recuperate. He tried to rest his head and cope with all he endured physically and mentally, but he was finding it difficult. Vanya went about her attempt at resuming normalcy, and consistently managed to involve Five; every day she would prompt him to go to the library and read up on past events. She would even give him scientific journals to read since she figured he would enjoy that most. He looked grumpy about it, occasionally made a snide comment, but the minute she closed the apartment door he would read everything she gave him without hesitation. He had to admit his favorite days were the ones where she was home conducting violin lessons. It was good to hear her play again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His days were fine. It was at night when things closed in on him. Nightmares left him restless and exhausted. He worried that, eventually, he would fall asleep and wake up to find out he was still sleeping among rubble and dust. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took him a long moment of self-composure before he could come to stand. His dark eyes flitted around the room before he began the purposeful walk towards her bedroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Logic told him she would be dozing in her bed, sound asleep. Fear told him she would be gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reached for the knob and pushed the door open only to meet resistance. To his surprise, a pair of brown eyes peeked at him, wide-eyed and worried. Neither expected the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Five?” She slurred sleepily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Vanya.” There was relief in his tired voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanya pulled the door open so they were standing face to face, her chin lifted to meet his gaze. She looked equally tired.  “I’m...I’m glad you’re still here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a small smile, she scooted past him and gestured for him to follow. She walked lazily into the living room with Five close behind. He looked at the glaring red numbers on the microwave as he passed; it read 5:32 AM. It was early, but not near as early as the mornings before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He desperately needed coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat down on the couch together. Vanya took some blanket, which still retained some of his body heat, and covered her legs. It was only then he realized she was wearing just a simple nightshirt and quickly Five averted his gaze elsewhere. He took the other half of the blanket for himself and sat back on the pillows in an attempt to relax the tightly wound sinews in his arms and back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s been two weeks,” Vanya pointed out, her soft voice carrying well in the quiet of the room. “And we still haven’t talked.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yet you come to my room every single night. Stand in my doorway…” Her head, having fallen back onto the cushion, rolled so she could look at his profile. Five could feel her staring at him but he could not bring himself to make eye contact. Not yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t even know she knew.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” Vanya asked the dreaded question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Knowing he could no longer avoid the topic of conversation, he exhaled as he said, “To make sure you’re still here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why wouldn’t I be--oh,” she answered her own question. He raised his eyebrows in acknowledgment of her revelation without once looking in her direction. He was grateful for her perceptiveness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you?” Five turned it on her, finally allowing himself to give her a side-eyed glance. “What were you doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unburdened by the pitfalls of vulnerability, she lifted one shoulder casually. “Making sure you were still here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me?” He sounded surprised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. The last time I invited you to stay, I woke up the next morning and you weren’t there.” She found him later, but the drop in her stomach at seeing an empty couch resonated with her for a time. She thought he had gone again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I apologized.” Five muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After I went to look for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t go far at least.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The time before that, you did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He visibly flinched. “...that’s fair then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get up and check on you every night.” She fiddled with her fingers, avoiding eye contact. “I mean, I don’t stick around or anything. If I see a lump on the couch I’m satisfied.” In the dark, she could see his lips turn upward. She omitted the fact that she had sat on the coffee table and watched him sleep at least once. She took in how peaceful he looked and the subtle rise and fall of his chest before pushing herself to go back to bed. “After all we’ve been through it’s been hard to sleep, and when I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> sleep…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s usually restless.” Five understood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know the feeling.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nice to know you’re here though. It helps.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned his head to look at her then, eyes carrying small bags of exhaustion beneath them. “It does.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanya reached out and moved the stray strands of hair that fell in his face. The oxygen in the room suddenly grew thin and he felt his chest stop moving as warm fingertips barely grazed past his forehead. His eyes observed her, almost wide-eyed before she let her hand fall away. He wanted to reach out and guide her to touch him again, but he didn’t. Her eyes were glazed over with sadness. She sighed. “I can’t even begin to imagine what you went through during those years in the apocalypse. The loneliness. I...I’m sorry I--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t. Don’t apologize for that Vanya. Ever.” Five gave her a sharp but tired stare that paused her mid-sentence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked startled. “But why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I’m the one that chose to leave. I was so caught up in proving Father wrong that I didn’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>think</span>
  </em>
  <span> about what I could possibly fuck up if things didn’t go right. And they didn’t go right. You warned me…” Five let out a self-depreciative chuckle as his back teeth ground together. “You tried to get me to stop, and I didn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should’ve gone after you,” she persisted, shaking her head. “Should’ve spoken up. There was more I could’ve done and I didn’t do it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He huffed. “You need to stop taking on other people’s burdens, Vanya.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s what we should do for each other.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not for this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pair, having slowly moved to face one another, were now sitting up and making full eye contact. The sleepiness was still clouding their gaze but the determination to make their points known was glowing like headlights in a fog.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five’s lips twitched into a frown. “It was my weight to carry.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His casual tone clearly upset her. “You shouldn’t have had to carry it alone, Five. How were you to know where you’d end up?” Her voice was quivering slightly, staggering her words. She felt emotion welling up in her chest and it was pushing against her ribcage like it wanted to explode.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly. I didn’t know, and you couldn’t have handled it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> could barely handle it.” He put his palm on his chest for emphasis. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could’ve handled it fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At least you wouldn’t have been alone,” Vanya pressed, almost pleading for the time she could not get back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And have had you end up wandering in a barren wasteland for ten years?” Five scoffed, his voice finally gaining traction and volume. “I don’t think—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That would’ve been fine.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wouldn’t have been a life, Vanya. Unbearable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her fingers curled into a fist on her knee. “More bearable than being without </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> every goddamn day!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five drew his head back and blinked. The outburst surprised even Vanya, and instantly she shrunk away from him to stare at the floor and mutter what he assumed was an apology. The synapses in his brain began to misfire as he tried to process her words and the intensity behind them. She had missed him, that much was obvious, but the torment in her tone reflected something far deeper than that. It told him the worries he had about what she had endured in his absence had been a reality for her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I--” He started, failing his mouthy intelligence and wit for once in his life. “I didn’t--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanya hesitantly lifted her chin and looked at him through a veil of hair, the tears slowly drawing wet lines on the curves of her soft cheeks. Even in the dim light of sunrise, he could see the </span>
  <em>
    <span>pain</span>
  </em>
  <span> of her past. Of losing </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It completely broke something that he did not even think to be possible. His heart was throbbing painfully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With cautious reach, Five moved to push her hair back, gingerly tucking it behind her reddened ear. The lump in his throat was almost painful. “Okay,” he soothed quietly, able to express all his tenderness and understanding in one word. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat in silence for a moment. Then she sniffled. </span>
  <span>“You were the only one I could trust, Five. The one who made me feel like I had someplace there,” she said, bottled up feelings finally bubbling up to the surface. “And like the </span>
  <em>
    <span>asshole</span>
  </em>
  <span> you are, you just up and left. You looked right at me while we sat at that table and stormed out of that fucking house. Out of our lives. </span>
  <em>
    <span>My</span>
  </em>
  <span> life.” Five could only stare at her as she frantically wiped at her face. “I waited for you every night, left the light on hoping you would come home...“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her anguish made his stomach turn in knots. “Pogo had told me,” Five admitted. “I thought he was trying to make me feel better about—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s true. I made you snacks. Left them out for you before going to bed. The light...I was worried you would think we weren’t home and disappear again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck, Vanya. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The doubts he grappled with, the few he had, were solidifying before his very eyes. She deserved the world and he shattered a part of it when he jumped into the future. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In a quick sweeping motion, he brushed the tears from her cheek. She turned her head to look at him fully; her expression sucked the air from his lungs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I put you through that,” he breathed, trying to formulate an apology that she deserved and failing miserably. “But know that I never stopped thinking about you. About any of you. I know it took way too long, but I’m here now.” He put a reassuring hand on her arm. “And I’m not going anywhere.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A tiny sob escaped her as she reached out and wrapped her arms around his neck, cradling her face in the crook of his shoulder. The moisture from her tears soaked through his shirt, but all he could think about was her touch. Her body against his. His strong arms braced her to him like a lifeline. He did not deserve Vanya in any capacity, but at least he could try and rectify the mistakes of the past. It seemed his words brought her some relief. Her body relaxed into him as she calmed down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few minutes they slowly, reluctantly parted. Five could feel the warmth of Vanya’s breath on his cheek as she lifted her head. His eyes, hesitant to lose sight of the moment, drifted slowly to find her features dangerously close to his own. If he even lowered his gaze a little, he knew he would see her perfect pink lips and it took every ounce of willpower he had to keep his eyes stayed on her own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She leaned in and pushed her lips to his cheek in silent gratitude. "Thank you, Five." His body felt like it could melt into the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shit.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Five swallowed hard. “How about we, uh, go get some coffee,” he suggested quietly. “We can go to the place you showed me yesterday. I could use </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span> caffeine.” A smirk tugged at his lips. Of course, he did not want any damn coffee, he wanted </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but he would have to settle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She laughed as she let out one last cry of relief, using the blanket to shield her red face and tear-stained cheeks. Her voice was muffled. “Y-yeah, coffee. I could use some coffee.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gave her a weak smile. “It’ll never let you down.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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